If you don’t want a broke man, you’re gonna have to put up with a busy man.
Isn’t it weird that exactly seven years ago today (or whenever time you might be reading this) the world should have ended, as the Mayans foretold? Anyway this episode is inspired by a certain podcast I listened to on replay a few days ago. Scroll down for the name.
1. Late teens to Early 20s- No one really has money
2. Money in your 20s is not real major money. Why can’t she be there for you when you’re building yourself compared to the finished product?
3. A woman never wants you….until you are in a relationship. Broke or not!
4. Life changes so fast! (BOOM!) One thing leads to another.
I was listening to “The Mics Are Open” podcast and I stumbled upon an interesting topic. So catchy that I downloaded it on my phone a few days ago…..and listened to it almost daily! The topic was titled “Sorry, we don’t date broke guys”. You can listen to it below and on Google Podcasts:
They were discussing about the demise of once Safaricom CEO Bob Collymore and the Boys’ club and they didn’t touch on the main topic until the 24th minute. It’s a 40 minute podcast episode for those who are asking.
I carefully listened to their discussion and their opinions made me stop and think again and again. We have been conditioned as men over and over again that if you’re broke, you’re undateable. By women, by our relatives, parents, siblings etc.
If you’re reading this and agreeing with the following statement “Men don’t date while broke”, do yourself a favour. See the close button on your browser? Close it. Then go on with your life.
Still reading this? Trash that statement immediately! Men, there is no excuse in the world or statement from anyone in the world that should stop you from experiencing the headache of a relationship.
I was in a lunch conversation with a friend of mine who had been dating for a while. I asked him about the status of his relationship and he had this to say:
It’s going great now. I can get my girl this necklace, move to a new place, get that brand new flat screen TV and all that….. it’s better!
Him getting money enriched the relationship and made it less strenuous. He was indeed dating while broke.
Here’s why that statement is a load of nonsense, with all honesty. When you’re in your late teens and early 20s, no one really has money. At this point the only source of pocket money you’re getting is from your parents. If most of us had to wait until we make money to experience our first sexual encounter, we would be getting laid in our 30s. The money you are seeing in your 20s is not real major money.
Single vs Dating
Why wouldn’t a woman want to be there as you build as opposed to coming in and seeing the finished product? It’s a habit of the women of this generation….just like processed food, they want the final thing. They’re not willing to also put in the work to build a man as he builds himself.
I’ve had friends who’ve gone through the worst life has to offer and they’re dating. Deep into debt, Tala and Branch harassing them for overdue loans, no money, nothing was going well for them. Their girlfriends from decent families (they’re also decent themselves) helped them buy their first new car, paying the deposit from her credit card. The ladies were there for them….but as my fellow men tend to do to relationships, they messed up eventually.
FACT: A woman never really wants you….until you are in a relationship. Whether you are broke or not.
You can be as single as you want, for as long as you want. The minute you get into a relationship whether you have money or not, you suddenly become attractive. Been there, done that.
Back to the discussion. You cannot let brokeness stop you from dating. Guys who are broke are generally more creative than guys with money. When you’re growing up, it’s a rite of passage. You now have the guts to say “I don’t need money to get, as the guys in Mics are Open call it, ‘pum pum’! It’s like a challenge.
Dating over the years has changed thanks to a lot of standards being implemented. You have to give your girl flowers, take her to date nights, picnic dates among others. Sometimes women will say “I’m not about to go below what I used to.” But you cannot be as exclusive as a woman who tells you “you can’t date when you’re broke”. Women sometimes are their worst enemies.
Another thing, this word called ‘life’ is not a replay. There’s no time machine in the real world that can take you back to your past. We all start from somewhere. You don’t know which direction life is going to take you. By someone telling you “you shouldn’t date while broke” you have no idea what role that person will play in your life.
The Story about Life
Life changes in a split second, like BOOM! One thing happens and it leads to another. You can be working in a job with low salary rates but your life changes in the blink of an eye the minute you fall in love with the daughter of some prominent politician. I had a friend once who dated the most beautiful girl in high school when he was just a small guy bullied by a lot of Form Four guys. Another was just starting out in radio and his life changed when he dated a famous Instagram model. Away from the dating scene, a group known as Ethic, comprised of a bunch of high school students dropped a song of theirs and it exploded on YouTube, approximately 1 million views in a matter of days!
But being broke comes with conditions! If you are broke and you undermine yourself, you’re messing yourself up. If you are broke and you’re working on getting your money up, that is acceptable. You can’t have your confidence low. One of the greatest turnoffs for women is guys who say “I got cash, let my money work for me.”
You have to be creative. Trust the process. Not having as much coin never stopped me from dating. I once did a few 200 bob dates at a famous kibandaski nearby campus and we were both happy and content. I wasn’t and I am not the type to rob banks or con people just to please a woman. I know if I did that and landed in jail, she won’t have anything to do with me.
Then again, would ladies be open to dating a broke man?
At the end of the day, it’s not you making the decisions, it’s them. Give them a reason to.
Let’s say you go to church on a Sunday. You are beginning the climb of the financial ladder. You spot a super gorgeous lady who shows interest in you. Remember you are both in the House of The Lord (no sex in the car park). You approach her, she tells you “Marvin, you are cool but…..holla back when you get a job.” You’d be heartbroken but not as much. You would feel bad for her because it’s her loss. You tell yourself ‘you are an amazing guy’ as you have done all the years alive on Earth. You shoot your shot and a woman declines because you’re broke. That’s her fault, her problem!
To be practical, most of us have got laid more when we didn’t have a single coin. We got more creative.
Falling In Love
To wrap things up, money or no money everyone deserves the headache of relationships. Sure they’re hard, harder than babysitting 4 year olds but they’re interesting.
Wouldn’t you like to fall in love?
If I was given a choice to fall in love and travel to West London to watch Chelsea play at Stamford Bridge now, I would be like ‘what time does the game start?’
I’m kidding. Personally I have been afraid to fall in love again! Love can be scary, but you have to let yourself go and be like “I’m open for business” like how Liverpool came from 3 goals down in the Champions League semifinal last season to beat Barcelona 4–0.
I’ll start 2020 by trusting women again and being open to a new relationship. However I shall not make it easy. Only one special one gets the cut.
Good luck ladies!
And Merry Christmas Major Marvin fans! To a prosperous 2020.